Hello Everyone

It has been a little while since I have updated my blog and I will start to update it a lot more. Here is an update of Midland Lutheran College and my own walk with Jesus Christ. First I just want to praise God, every day I realize how His Love Truly does endure forever.

This has been a tough year for me, I am co-president of Campus Crusade For Christ on campus and that has been a pretty frustrating ministry to say the least. All the men that I had attend my Bible study last year no longer attend except for one faithful soul winner. My no compromise approach has warded off several and fellowship is not where it used to be here at MLC. The one faithful is my roommate Ben and has been a blessing to me. The girls that are involved in Campus Crusade for Christ number quite a few more. They do get better turn outs for their Bible studies and everything but yet evangelism and preaching the Gospel on this campus is more scarce than one can imagine. Most are into friendship evangelism which takes months for them. I have weekly outreaches to the cafeteria and witness to students.

Something interesting, I recently talked to 3 former professors and 1 nurse who used to work here and they told me that this campus has just gotten more and more dark, while this is not a good thing it was a great encouragement to me. I have felt this for so long, that this camps was a haven for spiritual darkness, I can feel it and this place is so lost and empty. It is seen as no threat at all. This is all very hard, because I am basically the only one in deep prayer for this campus and evangelizes that it can get very hard. It can get quite lonely at times, but the Lord has used this to grow closer to Him. I do have some prayer requests and they that God Almighty would use me in mighty ways on this Campus, also that I would die completely to myself, let me be crucified with Christ on that Cross, die to this world and all this passions. I don't want any hindrance, I want to focus all my time and energy on Jesus Christ. Please pray for this campus, it is so lost, and its not that its just lost, but it is just BARREN, it has become a haven for spiritual darkness and they use it as their home. In the name of Jesus Christ we cannot stand idly by. I want to leave with this note I wrote about my struggles right now as a Christian. God Bless you all and I covet all your prayers.

Why Can’t I Just Die Already! (A Spiritual Death)
-A Note for those Christians Struggling in this World in This flesh.
Philippians 2:21 "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain"


So many times I ask why am I still alive? Why Can’t I just die, I am so tired of being alive, it hurts so much anymore, the pain and loneliness is to much to take. I long for that comfort in death, that comfort to be finally free. No one around to comfort me, no warmth of another to tell me that everything is going to be ok; a comfort that can only be found in death. I fight and I fight to stay alive, I prayed for strength to overcome when all God wanted from me was to die. The Cross represents one thing, death! For so long I have ran from that very cross, unwilling to take its burden, unwilling to take upon myself the very nails of my Savior. Strength I prayed for, death was asked of. I echo the words of Paul when he says The World has been Crucified to me, and I to the World. I long to finally die, die to myself and be Crucified with Christ on that bloody Cross; a Death that brings true freedom; the only way to be truly freed from all worldly desires and passions. I pray for those nails to pierce my flesh and make me a tool worthy of use for my dear Savior! Give me Death So that I may Live!